Teachers are human

Being a public school teacher is a lot to take on.  The expectations are very high, and the appreciation and salary are low.  In my 25 years teaching, I would say the vast majority of teachers try very hard to do everything in their power to help students succeed.  But it’s a lot.

I teach middle schoolers.  If you are a parent of a middle schooler, or even if you’ve Been in middle school, just take a moment to think about that.  Perhaps your child has: rolled their eyes at you, given a big sigh, acted out of character for no reason, told you they hate you, etc.  middle school teachers get this treatment every. Single. Day.  From children that are not their own.  When you were in middle school, think of the things you said and did.  Think about what was most important to you.  Odds are it was not “cooperating with the teacher.”

Teachers are certainly expected to be experts in their subject matter.  They must also be highly organized, keeping grades for over a hundred students.  Many teach different grade levels or subjects.  They must research and implement new curricula, creative instructional strategies, differentiated instruction, and multiple opportunities for authentic assessments.  On top of that, teachers are sometimes custodians, counselors, food service, public relations, politicians, student advocates, mandatory reporters, first responders, human shields, and virtual punching bags for students and parents.  As a fine arts teacher, I’m also expected to be a sound engineer, a director and producer of concerts and shows, a manual laborer dragging set and staging pieces around, a music arranger, an accompanist, a conductor, a cheerleader, a lighting and set designer, a seamstress, an accountant, a travel agent, an event coordinator, etc etc etc.

It’s a lot.

So, the next time you are upset with something a teacher did, just take a moment to think about the fact that they are human.  They are probably doing the best they can that day.  Yes, maybe they were in the wrong, but, instead of shouting your complaint to the principal, or trash-talking them among other parents, give the teacher a chance to explain.

If your student came home with a story that got you upset, remember that students have selective memory.  It is a part of normal adolescent development to be self-centered, and that affects their perspective with teachers and peers. It might take a little bit of discussion to get all the information you need.  You might need to calmly ask your child,  "what did you do to make her say/do that?"  "and how did you respond?"  "did you take any part in the situation?"

I would venture to say, that if you keep your cool and reach out to the teacher directly, you'll get a thoughtful explanation, and sometimes, an apology.  And you've used a teachable moment with your student, and avoided future conflicts, by keeping the teacher-parent-student relationship respectful.